What your drink order says about you
From the judgmental girl across the bar
A defining moment of a first date, your drink order says a lot about you. A Long Island Iced Tea flirts with poor decisions while an orange wine gives notes of a second date. After hundreds of dates, networking drinks, and bestie happy hours, I thought who better than I to compile a list of drink orders and what they say about you.
Sauvignon Blanc or as you affectionately say “savy b.” You pretend to hate fast fashion yet use it to wear every trend that hits the runways. You know wine in the same way that Trump knows how to run a country—not well, but like you’ve been here before.
Vodka Soda. You’re over the age of 40, do crazy amounts of cardio just to off-set your weekend drinking, and love to tell people how much sugar tonic water has. You have a loft with a swing in it.
Dirty Martini. You’ve seen some life. A customer service rep hates to see you coming, and your monthly Ubers total anywhere from $450 to $18,590.
Skin Contact Wine. If you don’t live in Brooklyn you should. You’re always on the cutting edge of fashion trends while still having a style all your own. You often break off relationships after three dates because you’re “bored,” and you say you read, but you don’t.
Beer on draft. You wore New Balance before they were trending, and chat basketball facts like you aren’t 5’6.
Aperol Spritz. You’re either a giggly drunk who can always find a way to justify a 4pm happy hour. Or you’re a tourist in Italy “blending in” with the locals.
Margarita.
Skinny Marg. Never met a mirror they didn’t do a full body scan in.
Reg. Shots are part of the weekend routine, and you still haven’t aged out of clubbing. Blood work reveals high sodium.
A Pet Nat. We get it, you’re cool. So cool you can probably pull off curly bangs, and studied matcha in Japan for three months.
Negroni. You’re currently reading Stanley Tucci’s new book, exclusively dating for “vibes,” and you always have thoughts post film. You’re on the hunt for your next true crime doc, and if the world was a perfect place you’d be able to have a podcast without being cringe. I’d bring up your drunk cigarettes, but you don’t like to talk about it.
Grenache Red Wine. Your parents let you drink at dinner by the age of 16, and your first car was less than five years old. Three times a week you mention that formative trip you had to Napa, and four times a week you seriously consider becoming a sommelier.
Old Fashioned.
In the suburbs: You make cabinets for work, your favorite show is Survivorman, and you order for women on dates.
In the city: You’re a creative director, your favorite show is Breaking Bad, and you are a woman who orders for herself.
Gin and Tonic. You think of Steve Irwin often, and have a college story involving Jungle Juice that should have landed you in jail.
Did I miss your go-to? Drop it in the comments below for a part two.